You know the saying
"WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS!!!!"
Well they aren't joking. The saying should say..
"WHEN IT RAINS, BEWARE OF THE FLASH FLOOD!!!!"
It has been about a week since we heard the news, but my heart is finally ready to talk about it. (at least I thought I was ready. I just started bawling... but I'm going to finish this post darn it all!!!)
About a week ago the birthmom of the baby we were supposed to adopt sent us an e-mail saying that she has decided to keep the baby. So when I say "When it rains, it pours" let me number things off for you...
1. I got sick, the doctors couldn't find out what was wrong. After a number of tests, hospital visits, they still don't have an answer for me.
2. Because I was sick I ended up not going to work, so I lost my job.
3. I'm not getting my baby girl!!!!!!
I have been told by a number of doctors that right now I can't even think about getting pregnant because of my health. They don't know when or even if I will be able to. It just wouldn't be a good idea for myself or the baby. For those of you who have known me for even a little while you know that my whole life all I have wanted to be when I grow up is a mom. So when your doctor tells you that you might not be able to get pregnant with your own child, its like your heart is being ripped out of your chest. I know that adoption is out there, and I have planned on adopting my whole life. BUT.... I have always wanted to be able to get pregnant and have at least one of my own kids.
I know this isn't the end of the world, but right now for me is SUCKS!!!! I know that one day I will be a mother, and that day will be the happiest day of my life. It just isn't going to happen when I thought. But I promise I'll be alright, it will just take some time!! :o)
6 comments:
I know how it feels--at least the possibly not being able to having a child. I had some issues and it took a lot of doctors visits, prayers, and some faith to get everything worked out. It will all work out...unfortunately it takes time.
I am so sorry to hear about all of the rain. You are a strong your woman and like Aimee said in time everything works out...even though right now it just sucks!!
Enjoy being married and loving Andy like crazy...in time both you will be amazing parents:)
Keep your head up
You are always in our thoughts and prayers. Love you!
Hey! I know it's rough! You just have to keep havin' faith! Sometimes so much easier said then done! One day we will all understand why we have to go through these trials and struggles. But, for now I guess we just get to enjoy the ride! ;) You have a great support system! Everything will work out in the end!
I am so sorry to hear this news. Just know we are thinking of you two. Everything will work out.
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